Chicken Noodle Soup & Happier Memories.

I've got a big cup of "no name" chicken noodle soup and a head full of thoughts, so I thought I would share some since I missed writing last night (had some drinks and walked around campus with Matt, Jenn, and Kurt for quite some time, may talk about that later). I should be out creating some sort of social life, or doing something productive (like homework...), but this just seems... better. So here I am with my giant hand-me-down ceramic mug of "no name" brand chicken noodle soup, just thinking. I've spent the last week or so making new friends, sharing stories and experiences, and it got me noticing a few things. Maybe you've noticed them too while you were all out meeting new people this year.

People always seem to connect over the negative things in life. For example, two people may become friends because they both failed their math test and were walking through the halls moping about it and ran into each other, or maybe people were in the same building when there was a shooting... I don't know, those were crappy examples. Anyway, my point is that people seem to focus more on the negative around them, all of the little bad things that seem to be happening at the time. Does anyone ever think of happy things anymore?

So, back to my mug. I got this mug from Matt's aunt and uncle, because I couldn't afford my own because I'm dirt poor. Usually, someone would just look at the "because I'm dirt poor" part of that sentence and say something like, "Aww, poor Jan, she has no money!" But tonight, I think you should all look at the fact that there are people who are nice enough to give a stranger something of theirs, seeing that she doesn't have it. This old mug and this cheap soup reminds me of happier times, times that I don't always reveal to people when I am ranting and raving about how I have no money, or about how my dad's been in jail my whole life and that my mom is dating an ass hole.

No... This soup reminds me of happier times with my grandmother, before things went bad. I used to go to my Memere Verna and Pepere Paul's house every week when I was very young... they made good money, my grandmother with her ceramics and sewing and baking, my grandfather with his house building, and they usually spoiled me, being their only grandchild within spoiling distance. I remember little things that I miss... little things that make me smile and give me some sort of hope that there is still good to be done, despite how things change...

I remember that my grandmother used to make "Janise Soup" just for me, and I was the only one allowed to have any... she was an amazing cook. She would take tomato sauce and let me add all the different kinds of noodles and spices that I want... testing the taste after I added each ingredient until I thought it was absolutely perfect. Sometimes I would add some bow-tie pasta and a little garlic, other times I would dump every noodle and pasta I could find... every time it was special though, made just how I wanted it to be.

Another thing she would do is let me paint all of the little leftover ceramics that she had... she even set up a space for me to paint, and made me a smock and bought me my own paints and brushes. My grandmother was a perfectionist... every cake she baked, every dress she made, every thing she painted had to be perfect. If there was even the smallest thing wrong, she would give it to me, no matter how long she worked on it. I never saw anything wrong with it... often times, I had a whole chocolate wedding cake to decorate for myself because maybe she almost came close to burning it... I miss times like that. Having things for myself.

So see? Its little things... maybe even one moment in time one year ago or thirty years ago that can take all the bad away for even just a minute, and make you just smile and feel warm... its amazing.

But sadly, I must end this post, for it is time for me to raid Gruul's Lair... yes, I am a nerd.

These have been the words of Jan, thanks for reading.