Love Counter

January 31, 2010

New Diet.

Very strict eating... very little calories.
Aiming for 3 meals - less than 500 calories a day.
Probably unhealthy? Oh well.
Working out as well, very customized routine from a bunch of Denise Richards tapes, targeting all my "problem" areas.

I'm sore and feel great.
I'm hungry.
Cravings are the worst.
I have support though... and I am determined to look acceptable in my own eyes.

J

January 30, 2010

Wow.

What the hell did I ever see in you?
You're a conceited, self righteous, asshole.
I gave up my whole fucking life for you.
For us.
I'm tired of feeling bad about what happened.
I did it because I wasn't happy.
I was unhappy for a long time, but I was hanging on.
Hanging on to hope, hoping you'd act like you did when we first met.
When you actually cared, when you had a fucking heart.
Fuck you, seriously.
But fine, it is closure.
I never have to fucking talk to you again.
I never have to see your face.
I hope that blond bimbo you're banging gives you herpes.

I'm done.
I'm very angry, and very hurt.

Fucker.

January 28, 2010

Huh.

Sex dreams about ex boyfriends are not cool.
They unnerve me, and I don't like that.
Matt still hasn't sent me my money, I don't think he plans to.
Whatever, I'm not going to chase him down.
I thought he was better than that, I guess 4 years of friendship was just a lie.
I was too blinded to see the real him.
I have to work this weekend, 6-2 both days, pretty gross.
Colby and I have been talking, about a lot of things. I think we've decided to just stay in our apartment, no matter how frustrating it is. We don't have the money right now to be putting down deposits on new apartments.
Another option is to move in with his aunt, I like her, but I don't want to.
I mean... we're 20 years old. His cousin Logan is in the military so he won't be home, but he has two much younger pain in the ass cousins.
You know, I could probably make some money babysitting though... who knows?
Or just babysit for free since she'd let me live upstairs.
I don't know.
I've been collecting toys for my little sister, the three girls are all officially adopted as of the 20th. Miranda changed her name, I don't know what it is.

Goodnight.

J