You Know...

I really hate it when people buy me clothes, or offer to buy me clothes, because they don't think I'm "fashionable" enough, or whatever. I know you THINK you're doing a nice thing by forcing all these "nice" clothes down my throat, but I actually find it incredibly humiliating and insulting.

You want to know why I wear jeans, t-shirts, and sweatshirts? I'm fucking ugly. I'm fucking fat. Covering myself with expensive, girly clothing isn't going to change that. Ever. Dressing me in fancy clothes and jewelry is like throwing some sparkly glitter on a pile of dog shit. Its still dog shit. Its always going to be dog shit. Now its just covered in glitter. The glitter does not hide the fact that it is, in fact, dog shit.

I'm dog shit. Stop throwing glitter on me.

Fuck. FUCK EVERYTHING.

I’m never talking to, or confiding anything, to anyone in this fucking family ever again. I’m never talking to anyone ever again. About anything. I can’t fucking trust in anyone anymore, and I’m tired of looking like the bad guy all the time. I don't needs friends, I don't need to be a part of this fucking family, I just need to pick up my fucking life and fix it all myself. I'm tired of people treating me like I'm some kind of monster and like everything I do is to make other people miserable. I'm tired of having all the blame put on me and having to take the fall for others. All the fucking time. I’m done. I’m fucking done with all of these people.

My Tiger Babies.

Yesterday Link (white cat), Tessa, Frankie, and Jasper (my three tiger kittens) were all loaded up and sent to Chicago to get fixed, they are coming home tonight. In fact, they're about 10 minutes away now! I'll admit it, I was worried. Really worried actually. I had several bad dreams over the course of the last week about possible outcomes of them all getting their operations... it was sad.

I missed them, I really did. It was quiet without Link chasing my other two indoor cats around and destroying the world. Anyway, Colby's mom called and told us that a woman came into the shelter, where my cats were staying overnight, and saw the three kittens. and fell in love. They are meant to be barn cats, but we got them VERY young and so I've had to take care of them and watch them closely to make sure they developed properly. Because of this, they are VERY people friendly and affectionate.

Colby's mom said that after the woman left, she called the shelter SIX times, begging to adopt my three tiger kittens. Six times. Begging. But she can't have them, because they're my babies!

And they're coming home tonight!

J