I'm So In Love...

A lot of you will never experience what I have.
For those of you who have this, or had this... good for you.
Everyone deserves to be this happy.
Well... almost everyone.
You have to allow love to happen in order for people to love you.
Get it?Colby James Blankenhagen, you are my whole world, you are everything to me.
I know I can be difficult, and I know I don't always show it, but you have changed my life and you have made me a better person. I love you.

Goodnight all.

~ Janise

Oh Hai.

One of my favorite insects.
Watching House.
Episodes where kids are sick make me so upset.

Lots of stuff to do tomorrow.

J

Happy.

I'm happy.
I'm finally making friends and feeling like I belong.
People go out of their way to see me, compliment me, talk to me... it makes me feel special.

Jarvis invited me to his birthday dinner with a bunch of the other girls from work. Sure, I'll be the only white girl there, but it will be a good chance to get dolled up and spend some time with the managers and crew trainers I work with. Christina finally found out the sex of her baby, its another boy, haha. Sandi kept telling her it would be a girl, but she was wrong.

My friend Daniel is getting promoted to crew trainer, so it little Matthew L., my favorite Star Wars nerd. I'm happy for them, even if it means I'll have to take orders from more people YOUNGER than me... just means I'm a few paces closer to a promotion

I walked 6 miles today, went to Retro Gamers and got hit on by a bunch of little geeky dude who were buying old school games, I bought Super Smash Bros. I talked to the guy who was on the register today, and the guy who owns the place, Tony, they told me they should be getting Paper Mario and Zelda: Majora's Mask in a few days, so I gave them my number so they can call me (yeah, we're on awesome terms, I'm the best customer these guys get!).

Then I went into Fantasy Books, conveniently located next door, and bought a kick ass mini microbe of Swine Flu, the latest microbe from Thinkgeek. I asked the cashier guy if they were hiring yet, but they still have the same two employees they've had all year...

There were a bunch of little kiddies playing Yu-Gi-Oh in the next room in FB, it was pretty funny, there was this little 14 year old goth being all slutty acting like she knew how to play, being all ditzy... it brought up some goofy memories from old days. So yeah, I didn't even know people played those games anymore.
I'm gunna go eat with my lover, bye byes.

J

Love.

Rupert Grint.
I would take him over anyone.
Red heads are incredibly sexy.
I do, and will always love this man.
Renting Cherrybomb this weekend.

Have a nice night.

J

Very Old Memories From High School.

This is Tory and myself in the park next to the Saco river, I've known her for years and I really do miss her, even if we grew really far apart when she got into her goth phase...
This is me and one of my closest friends throughout all of high school, Leesa. This is us head banging in the band room!
Wow... I miss these guys so much... Tory, Adara, Devin (he is behind me and Tory) and Herbie (he is taking the picture). I never liked that other girl though. Forgot her name.
Ashlee's 18th birthday party, one of the best band night I ever had. Also the first time I ever watched Pulp Fiction!
The first time I ever babysat my sister. Katie is actually in the backseat coming with me... I miss my eyebrow piercing. I had blue lips from a jaw breaker!
Desiree's first birthday party... I miss this little girl so much.
The always amazing Julien and George performing their talent for "Family and Friends Night" at Upward Bound, my first Summer... these two were my best friends, I miss them so much... they're both freaking geniuses.
Upward Bound field trip to a college fair... George took this picture.
amazing dress and robe I bought in China Town, Boston, first year in UB, while the seniors were all in New York.
The morning we got back from camping, first year in UB. This is me and the lovely Keisha... whose older brother was a pig.
Drunk DDR party at Caitie/Tory's house... 3 am... totally shwasted.
My favorite UB ladies in Central Park, the day of the 7th Harry Potter book release.
Self-explanatory... Barbara, myself, and Theoni outside BK! April is taking the picture!
My two favorite roommates, Codi and Kat, in front of the MTV building in Time Square!
3 gutter balls in a row...
Myself and the beautiful Codi on a boat going to Ellis Island!
One of my favorite pictures ever... Kat, Barbara, myself, and Codi at Ground Zero, with the statue that survived 9/11.
Me and Kevin on our way to work... man, I miss him SO much. Don't mind Sam in the background...
Myself and Barbara... I look incredibly tan and thin... ugh.
My baby boy Napkin... he's still at my house in Maine, I miss this little brat...


Well... that's all.
Hope you enjoyed my memories.

J

Royo

This was painted by my favorite artist, Luis Royo.
This is my favorite painting by him.
My old friend Janice introduced me to him years ago, I miss her.
Every time I look at his paintings I think of her.

69

69th blog.
Celebration I say!

About to take a shower, here's some eye candy.
Just kidding, not really eye candy.
I love this little beastie.

Lists Lists Lists.

Things I need to do:

1) Finish doing the last 4 loads of laundry.
2) Pack my dresser and Colby's dresser.
3) Pack both of my suitcases and both of my duffel bags.
4) Take down the tree and pack the ornaments.
5) Round up all the little odds and ends that belong to us.
6) Pack a bunch of boxes with stuff.
7) Take MY gazelle back out to the garage and take it apart until we move.
8) Finish cleaning the upstairs.
9) Call Linda and Medeline on my break tomorrow to schedule the tour, even though it isn't necessary because I REALLY want this place.
10) Call off work for Tuesday/Wednesday to take the tour.
11) Finish paperwork.
12) Leave $300 for February's rent and $50 for utilities on the kitchen table (we aren't paying that bitch the bogus $200 she says we owe her).
13) Disconnect the cable and internet and tell Charter we are moving.
14) Change all mine/Colby's mailing address stuff for everything.
15) Call the IRS (or Eric's dad) and change my address.
16) Move out as fast as humanly possible with minimal attention and questions.
17) Set up basic essentials in the new apartment.

Basic Shopping List:

1) Litter box and litter
2) Cat food dish
3) Cat food
4) Kitchen trash can
5) Sponges and dish soap
6) Shower curtain

Expensive Shopping List:

1) Two couches (or big chairs)
2) Crappy computer chair
3) 5-piece kitchen table set
4) A few paintings and posters
5) TV stand
6) Couch pillows
7) Curtain rods and a few curtains

That's all I can think of, I have so much to do and I need it all done ASAP. Colby isn't helping, ever since he started playing WoW again he's just been sitting on his ass being lazy, ignoring me when I ask him for help. I don't care, at least this is all getting done and happening.

We can't spend ANY money this week, we need:
1) $70 for our application fee
2) At least $395 for the security deposit
3) $350 for this month's rent/utilities in this hell hole
4) $20-$40 for essentials for my cat
5) At least $50 for basic food stuff

So yeah... I might have to cash a few savings bonds and that check my grandmother gave me just to get by for this next month, but we can do it.

That is all, wish me luck.

J

Moving Out.

Things are finally feeling... stable. Colby and I have narrowed down our choices to three very nice, cheap apartments in our town. all three are still available as of today, and all three will let you have pets, and DO NOT require a credit check. I haven't felt this happy in... I don't even know. One of the apartments even has a washer and dryer in the unit, and it is beautiful. I'm looking forward to finally being on my own, independent, decorating and customizing my own place... it feels good. I'm taking the Gazelle too, despite whatever Rebecca thinks, it is MINE and she still has no right to keep taking it without my permission.

Have I mentioned this? Rebecca and Steve like to hide all kinds of things in their room from Colby and I, as if we even want their crap. She hides the CAT FOOD in there, even though both our cats eat it... does she think I'm going to steal it and eat it? Weirdo. They also hide the toilet paper in their room, because apparently the whole downstairs belongs to them, despite us being here first. It bothers me. Sometimes when I get home from work, I have to pee. It would be nice to be able to wipe myself in my own damn bathroom and not worry about my crazy roommates hiding the toilet paper in their room.

Everything they hide from us, they steal ours. They steal our toilet paper from upstairs, they steal our laundry soap (we had to buy our own because they stole and hid the old one we OFFERED to share with them, because it was ours in the first place). Whatever, we'll be gone soon, and we will be happier.

I've been playing Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time lately... it is so weird how hard this game seems, especially when it seemed so EASY when I was eight years old! Next on my list, I need to find both Paper Mario and Majora's Mask... which I am really excited to play again, it was always one of my favorites... thinking about it, I'm not sure I ever completely beat it!

NCIS has been on all day since I shut off my N64, I love episodes that revolve around Gibbs' past, that talk about his first wife and his daughter... I also love episodes where you learn more about Ziva, she is such a unique woman. This show may very well be my new favorite, right next to Criminal Minds. Every character is just so... detailed. They all have their own unique personalities and lifestyles, and you get to learn so much about them on a personal level, as well as a professional one. Haha, listen to me talk as if they are real people... they play their characters well. Cote de Pablo... man, she is gorgeous!

I'm drinking my first soda in over a month, too lazy to go downstairs and get cranberry juice. I have this whole weekend off, and I need to clean, but I don't really want to. We are going to move out nicely. After we pay what we feel we owe to Raye, we are going to pack up everything we own, we are going to clean up whatever mess we have made in our living area, and then we are going to just going to leave without telling our roommates, or our landlady. And it will be done.

My computer keeps logging me off, I need to buy a new Vista disk. I used the same disk I used on my Velocity computer, which my ex stole - sorry... kept and then sold (he never sent me the money btw, just keeps lying to me telling me he did). Since someone is now using it somewhere in the world, I can't use my disk. So I need to dish out $120 to buy a new one. Ugh... not fun.

Blah. Ugh. BLAH!

I need to go to Walmart, but Colby is being SO lazy today.
Whatever, I suppose that is all.

Bye bye my dears.

J

LOL WOW!

So I found this on my Photobucket from last year at school, this video got me in tons of trouble because of something I said in it, and I got ratted out but never found out who it was, and then I got accused of all this crazy shit that I had nothing to do with... ugh. Whatever, they made me take it off MY blog... Canadian fuckers. But I don't go to that school anymore, so here it is again, because... I can! This is me going completely crazy after being locked up with only 3 other people on the WHOLE campus for two weeks, with no one to talk to... at all. And I was sick and feverish. Haha, don't mind my huge ghetto headset with its stupid bendy mic... I still have it, but Colby took it from me. Its ugly, I know.



Haha... I'm such a spaz.
Totally random.

I know the video isn't centered, and I know it cuts out at 5 minutes... but what can ya do? Photobucket is lame, as is Blogger. So... yup.
Okay, seriously... goodnight now.

J

Newest Addition!

Introducing the newest addition to our loving little family...


Meet Mira Bean! She's just a baby, but she's spunky and sweet. She's already fitting right in with my other girls.





I was gunna upload a video here but... it isn't working.
We've only had her for a few hours and she's already feeling the love from her new sisters. It is bed time for them now, they're all sleepy and adorable. A big pile of adorable!

I have work at 10:00... they have cut us by 20 hours. Fucked. Up.
Paychecks were $200 less than last time together.
Ugh... stupid job.

Night.

J

Hot Topic Wishlist...

Someday, I will have the money to buy all the nice clothes I've always dreamed of having... my favorite store is Hot Topic, I love absolutely everything in this store, and I would love to win a shopping spree there!

Cutest. Jacket. EVER!
You could seriously wear this jacket with ANYTHING, rockin'!
Ahh, this is too cute! And the model is freakin' adorable too!
I don't have the legs for minis, but this dress totally rocks!
These look SO comfy!!!
CUTE SKIRT!
GAH I love these boots SO much! Maybe with that dress??
You could totally wear these with any pair of jeans!
Can you say Helen Magnus shoes?! HELL yeah!
These are just hot... very hot. Cute with skinny jeans me thinks.


Well, that is all.
I'm going to PP to get on the pill tomorrow.
Dyeing my hair with blond dye this weekend, going for a brassy look.

Bye byes.

J

I Love You, Banjo!

Banjo-Kazooie is making me so happy right now!
Tomorrow is my last day, then I have a day off.
Unfortunately I work 6-2 on Sunday, probably as prep.
Watching Jackass, it is making me cringe.
I really, REALLY need to pee!
Time for robot Chicken.

I found an earring on a table and it was really beautiful, I'm turning it into a necklace and sending it to my sister.

Miranda and Brianna changed their names to Jalynn and Jamie, respectively. Desiree's middle name was changed to Jade. The girls chose their own names, and they are stupid as hell. They had beautiful names before.

My 11 year old sister was caught in a threesome behind her school, she's been getting in tons of trouble lately, being a terror and just... unruly. Ugh, Amy and Sean are NOT prepared for these girls, especially with a severely autistic child already in their home. They were chosen by my grandmother because they are Jesus freaks, all bible and no fun. They only celebrate Christmas and Easter. On Halloween they shut off all the lights and lock the doors, they don't let the girls have any fun, and let me tell you, that is their favorite holiday.

Religion won't save these girls, religion doesn't save anyone. By pushing all these ridiculous and strict beliefs on them, they are just confusing them even more. They went most of their lives believing in nothing, and suddenly they are being forced into this religion that they want nothing to do with.

I hate people who push their religion on others.

But I digress... speaking of jewelry, I'm pretty sure one of my roommate's stole my favorite necklace Colby bought me, and a pair of earrings my mom gave me a few years ago. I left them on the shelf in the bathroom on top of my eyeglass case and they completely disappeared. It is pissing me off that they keep using and taking our stuff, and then they hide their toilet paper, laundry soap, and such things in their room. It is fucked up. They hide their stuff and use ours? So now I put our stuff upstairs.

Seriously. A week ago I bought a big thing of laundry soap, and it is 3/4 gone, and Colby and I have done maybe 4 loads of laundry. You do the math. Most of our dryer sheets are gone too, despite them having their own.

They drink our milk too, even when they have their own.
And they like to throw out our stuff when they THINK it has gone bad, even if it hasn't even reached the date on the package.

Whatever, we'll be out of here soon.

I'm really annoyed at a friend of mine, but I doubt they have noticed.
And if they have, I doubt they care.
I'm aggravated at a couple people actually, but they don't want to hear it.
I don't know why I call any of them my friends.

Sorry for the random post, not much to say really...
Got $50 from my grandmother today that she meant to send for Christmas, she is finally out of the hospital, she's in a rehab home type thing right now, she can't live on her own anymore, and she doesn't have much time left...

Anyways... goodnight.

J

Childhood?!

I've got money burning a hole in my pocket.
I bought an N64 today with all its fixings, a really cool controller, and Banjo-Kazooie! I'm going back in a few days to buy Super Smash Bros. and Banjo-Tooie. Had some fun playing tonight, ordering food with my love.

Some skanks are trying to get me down, I'm not letting them, because I know I'm better than them. It isn't vanity, its truth. And you know what, that's all that really matters. If they want to obsess and let my life affect them... well, that's just plain old pathetic. I'm living my own life, how about you losers live yours? Good deal!

I'm in love... its like it never fades, even when we are pissy at each other. I'm glad I'm passed that silly little high school age where I'd want to fuck anyone who gave me the time of day and called me pretty (unlike some people, I didn't do that, the opposite in fact). I've been feeling great about my personality later, especially when compared to others... I love that I'm a good person.

Weeelllll, my pizza and cheesy sticks are here.
Spending a nice night with the boyfriend.
Late shifts at work all week, icky!

Peace and love.

J

Oh My.

What a day.
Well... whatever.
By the way, my hamster is alive and well.

J

R.I.P. Mini Mouse...

I'm depressed right now, I want to cry but I can't.
Came home after a great day at work, and after getting paid, and we came upstairs to find my hamster cage lid off and across the room, the cage pushed back against the wall and everything in the cage torn apart... Mini Mouse, my youngest hamster, and my favorite, was missing. There is no way they can escape the 10 gallon tank alone, even with the lid off. We caught Socks, Rebecca's cat, sneaking around up here this morning... I'm 90% positive she killed my hamster.

Jade would never even attempt a stunt like that, she likes my hamsters. She's an indoor cat, she's attacked a few mice but we had to shove her towards them for her to do anything. Socks was an outdoor cat, she's a vicious little bitch... I don't know what to do. I always say I want to kill her... now I really do.

I can't just leave MB alone in her cage, she needs someone with her. I'll have to buy another hamster, but Mini Mouse was her sister...

Fuck...

J

Darren Shan.

Darren Shan is my hero.
I am completely in love with this dude, haha!
It would complete my life to meet him...

J

Thinkgeek.com Merch!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/womens/b9c7/action/213d219/

Oh hell yeah, I'm famous.
Hahaha.

My Best Friend.

This is my best friend, Tyler.
He recently started dating this girl, Jenny, and I have never seen him this happy, ever. It makes me happy, and makes me think good things about the people in this world. He always talks to me about how amazing she is, and how much they click and how good they are together, and all of his sappy lovey talk is just refreshing to hear after all the bullshit he's been through.

They're hella cute together, aren't they? I'm so happy for them both.
Hope you all find something like this.
That would be nice.

Congratulations Tyler and Jenny!

J <3

3 Pounds.

3 pounds down.
37 more to go.
I can do it, I will do it.
I have to.
I can't live with myself anymore.

Hospital and bank today.
Getting a lot done.
I will do it.

J